Torturing Gabby
by Diva'sDream
Summary: Ever wonder what the perfect way to torture Gabrielle is nowadays? Well, here it is! My first fanfic! Please be kind! Enjoy!


Torturing Gabby  
  
By: Diva'sDream  
  
Disclaimer: What'd ya think?! No, I *don't* own "Xena: Warrior Princess" or any of it's characters. So please don't try to arrest and/or sue me. You'll never win! You can *never* win against me so don't even try it!!! *Laughs evilly* ...Anyway...The only person I *do* own in this frantic is myself and none of you can do a damn thing about it! Mwahahahahaha!!! *Evil Laughter*.... Whoa! Sorry, too much Yoohoo. (I *love* Yoohoo)  
  
Rating: PG for mild language and a *really* scary author. (YAY)  
  
Category: Again...What'd ya think?! Humor, duh!  
  
...Now then! Let the torture commence!!!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Gabrielle: (Magically zapped into a big, pitch-black room somehow) Hello? ...Is anybody there? ...Where am I?  
  
Voice: You're on my turf now.  
  
Gabrielle: (Looks around and tries to find whoever said that) Who's there? What'd ya want from me?  
  
Voice: I simply want to have a little fun.  
  
Gabrielle: What'd ya mean 'fun'?  
  
Voice: You'll see.  
  
Somebody snaps their fingers. All the lights turn on suddenly to reveal...the authors bedroom! (Bum bum buuuummmm) Gabrielle sees the owner of the mysterious voice, the author sitting on her bed, drinking from a *big* bottle of Yoohoo chocolate drink (YUMMY), a book in her other hand titled: "How To Torture Xena's Sidekick".  
  
Gabrielle: (Looks insulted) I am *not* a sidekick!  
  
Author: (Shouts) YES YOU ARE!!!  
  
Gabrielle: (Startled) Okay.  
  
Author: ...Oops! ...(Shakes head)...I mean...(Takes a big swallow of Yoohoo and then smiles at Gabrielle all evil-like and stuff)... Well... Welcome Gabby.  
  
Gabrielle: Ahhh!!! A smaller, deformed, evil version of Eve!!! NOT AGAIN!!! Ahhh!!! (Looks terrified)  
  
Author: (Growls angrily) Grrrr! If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times! I am *not* Eve! I may look like her a *little* bit but, you know! PEOPLE, I AM *NOT* EVE!!!  
  
Gabrielle: (Calms down) Well then, not to be rude but...who the hell *are* you?  
  
Author: (Makes a fake surprised look) Language, Gabby! Language!  
  
Gabrielle: (Sighing exasperatedly) Okay, now you're just starting to get annoying. And *don't* call me Gabby! I hate that.  
  
Author: (Laughs) There's no need to be so hostile, *Gabrielle*. There, ya happy now?! I used your full name. Sheesh! (Receives nasty look from the battling bard)...Okay, chill! I'm *just* the author of this fanfic, that's all. It's not like I'm out to get ya or something. ...Well...(Thinks about that statement for a few seconds) ...Technically...Never mind.  
  
Gabrielle: (Looks at the author suspiciously) What'd ya mean?  
  
Author: (Smiles evilly) Like I said before, you'll see.  
  
Gabrielle: Where am I?  
  
Author: (slightly annoyed) Where does it look like you are? My bedroom, duh!  
  
Gabrielle: (Mockingly) And why would that be exactly?  
  
Author: (Stands up) Gabrielle, I have a mission for you.  
  
Gabrielle: (Looks interested) And that would be?  
  
Author: (Smiling) I'm going to take my little sister to Disneyland for her birthday and I need someone to watch over my room for me while I'm gone.  
  
Gabrielle: (Nods her head) Okay. Sounds easy enough.  
  
Author: But that's not all. (Laughs) I originally hired someone else to do the job. She's still gonna be watching my room, but I don't really *trust* her in my room alone. So, *you're* gonna watch over *her* while *she* watches over *my* room. Got it?  
  
Gabrielle: (Nods her head uncertainly) Okay. And...who is this other girl exactly?  
  
Author: (Smiles even wider) You'll see. (Calls to person outside room) All right, come on in!  
  
The door opens slowly and...  
  
Gabrielle: (screams as the totally oblivious, absentminded angel version of Callisto walks in all perky and smiling and all that other crap like that) Ahhhhhhhh!!! Noooooooooo!!! Anything but that, please! You *can't* leave me here with *her*! I'm begging you! Please!!!  
  
Author: (Trying not to laugh her head off) I'm gonna lock you girls in just in case one of you tries to run away. (Leaves the room and closes the door)  
  
Gabrielle: No! (Runs up to the door as she hears the lock click and starts kicking at it) No! Let me out of here! Let me out! Please! Somebody help! Let me out of here! Help!!!  
  
Callisto: Ooh! What's this? (Accidentally knocks over music box and breaks it) Oops! (Covers her mouth with her hand) I mean to do that!  
  
Gabrielle: (To herself in her head) Oh no! I'm stuck with *her* for a few hours! This is cruel and unusual! I'll go insane!!! Gods help me!  
  
Outside the room, the author is standing there; listening to it all and laughing like crazy. She was obviously enjoying it.  
  
Author: (Still laughing) Operation 'Torturing Gabby' is a success. This is fun! I think I'll do it to Eve next week. I'm tired of people getting *me* mixed up with *her*. (Continues to listen to Gabrielle's screaming and pounding on the door and enjoying every minute of it)  
  
*** The End *** 


End file.
